'Twas the night before the first day of school...

As I lay here the night before the first day of school, I realize it is not just any new school year. It's not just the seventh new school year of me teaching. It is the first night before school of me being a mom. Not only 100% mine, don't have to share, always forever mom; but mom of a kid with special needs. A teacher of kids who CJ could be just like in six years. A teacher whose partner teacher is welcoming eight Kindergarten students with nervous parents into the elementary school setting tomorrow. A mom who so very soon will be on the other side of the fence for first day of preschool, first day of Kindergarten and just first day of new caretakers of my child. 

I am beginning THIS school year not worrying about how many side hugs I give or how messy my handwriting is in the communication notebook. I am beginning this school year as a mom who just happens to also be a teacher.  

Snapshot of bedtime

And to think this is only the kitchen prep part!

Repeat twice a day, no matter how late you may be running in the morning ;). 

CJ time

Seven months ago I didn't know when CJ would be able to eat by mouth again. I was so frustrated about the lack of feeding therapy and help. I was worried I wasn't doing enough to help him learn how to eat. 

In typical CJ fashion he is loving getting the chance to eat and of course has an opinion on it :)!

Now my worries have shifted to gross motor but I know in CJ time those worries will be old news too. 

New mom

Dear new moms - 

I may not have much to add to your post-pregnancy body conversations or your discussions on breast feeding, but I wish you would open the stroller line and let me slide in.  I may not have gotten to experience the kicks in my belly but the waiting wasn't any easier. The path I took is not as traveled as yours but it lead to the same place of caring for a little human being. 

-not a tummy mommy but a mommy all the same 

God Moments

On a weekly basis I get the chance to pause and reflect on God moments from the week. This weekend God was on fire through CJ! 

He had surgery Friday morning. Dr. Sewell had planned on a 2.5 hour surgery. Once he had gone back Emily and I had brunch - salad and pizza at 10:45am. We hadn't been back in the waiting area for long and Dr. came walking towards us with a smile on his face. I was confused but didn't think it could be bad based on his facial expression. 

The over two hour surgery only took an hour. The most difficult part was getting the IV in. Possibility of going home sooner than thought too. After the Dr left a nurse came to give us a report that he was out of surgery...um yep the doc already told us. Guess we also missed the nurse originally while we were eating...

He did super in recovery and was ready to go to his room in PICU shortly after. By the time the afternoon was closing out everyone was impressed with how he was doing. 

I played the role of stubborn mom. I was determined that no preventable hiccups were going to delay us going home. 

Doc stopped by before 7:30 am Saturday. My stubbornness eliminated any reasons for not going home THAT MORNING!

God is good!

Gifts

As I was rocking little man, as thing 1 lovingly nicknamed him this weekend, long after he had fallen asleep tonight; my brain began to wonder and reflect.  Reflect on those who are not in my life by choice; either by mutual or one sides choice to walk away. 

Though I miss some of these individuals who crossed my mind tonight; it wasn't for myself that I was sadden by our lost disconnect. It was for them and their lack of opportunity to have someone as awesome as little man in their lives, even if just occasionally.

For them to not truly smile from ear to ear as a small child laughs and giggles. For them to not have the opportunity to share in the celebration of reaching a milestone once seemed to be so far away. You see I no longer find myself counting down days till the next turn of the calendar - except maybe to pay day for the sake of my bank account.

A major life responsibility has brought me peace and a feeling of contentment. Though life is still going by too fast and it seems like just yesterday, I can honestly say I'm doing a decent job of enjoying each day.

So before you push someone aside out of convience for yourself, consider what they can give to you. To receive a priceless gift. 

Happy Thoughts

As I was reading a blog about the power of positive affirmation today, I began to think about CJ's response to me telling his story and how I can portray his adoption story.  Often, when I begin to tell his story, CJ will display body language of being annoyed or upset - yes I know he is a baby...  Whether he is acting on the words, tone or focus of the situation, I can do my best to use the power of positive affirmation in connection to his story, ethnic background and hair.  Though there maybe limited dancing and yippee shouting...